I have been mentally preparing myself for the vast array of wickedly poisonous snakes, vipers, anacondas that will probably try to eat me.....As far as deadly diseases go "BRING IT ON BITCHES!!" I got my vaccinations, which means they can't hurt me now and I am also entitled to bragging rights becaues I'M immune and YOUR not!
(except for the whole aids thing, they did not have a vaccination for that one)
There are many deadly predators in Africa, one of which is the lion. I will be at a lion breed and release project in Zim for a month and this does not scare me.
My point is I'm ready for almost everything, even the scary stuff. This leaves me with one exception that I cannot bring myself to deal with. My addiction to Americanized fast food.
EXAMPLE: (My demise): when I am in Africa, out in the middle of nowhere camping with the natives and they prepare smoked warthog, crocodile and monkey, with assorted bugs..blah blah..... thoughts of "oh shit" begin to race through my head. These dishes are not for me, and I begin to realize how partial I am to the food back at home. Many memories have been made with the friendly Wendy's staff ( who won the customer satisfations award 3 years in a row, need I say more) who have deliciously prepared their legendary chilli for me evening after evening, along with the junior frostie, ofcourse. Every time that I leave they know me so well that they always say "see ya tomorrow" Good times!! I also have uncountable memories day after day unwrapping those perfectly prepared Cheese Krystals that always exude freshness. Eating at Krystals always leaves me with a sense of complete and total satisfaction . These are my rituals and customs, am I supposed to just leave these memories at home? These are things that I am not willing to live without or ever give up.
After weeks of searching for a perfect solution to my potential crisis, I have found the answer. Just because I am on some other contenent does not mean that I will give up the good food that I am used to, and entitled to as an American. Instead of depending on stinking warthog and disease stricken monkey, I have found a more realistic option for dining while in the bush.
Through hours of research, I have found that the Red Cross has done work in Africa before. Surely they have dealt with similar situations to mine. All I'm asking is that they keep an aircraft carrier on standby and when they get the "go-ahead" from me time-to-time, they will fly over whatever bush field I am in on that particular day and unload from the sky hundreds of tiny care packages for ME, filled with Chick fil A chicken nuggets and re-runs of Grey's Anatomy etc. etc...
This idea may sound crazy to some, but to me it's the only thing that makes sense. It's not like everytime I have a fast food craving I can just borrow an elephant to ride to the nearest village, where you KNOW there won't be any good restaurants.
