Planes, trains and......oh wait...just planes

Planes, trains and....oh wait...just planes

Getting to Africa was a trip. Thursday at 6:30 a.m. I flew out of Valdumpster to connect in Atlanta. I would like to thank the lovely staff at Executive Travel for the 8 1/2 layover before departing to Dakar. That being said, the flight to Dakar ironically took the same amount of time as my layover in Atlanta. On the plane I got seated with a Church of Christ group who were on their way to Zim to do volunteer work. (LUCKY ME!!) The first few sobering hours were spent listening to Paul from Illinois brag about how this was his 3rd time to Zim.....I also learned a lot about firestone tires as well as Christian camps...thank God I had a barf bag near by!

By ordering myself a glass of wine I figured I could pass the time and dull the pain of being seated with this nerd herd. The waitress came by and I ordered a glass of merlot. Paul did everything but spit fire in my face. His look gave the impression that I should be seated on a different flight in the first class section with a one-way ticket straght to hell. I then remembered that Church of Christ forbids drinking......ooops. This unapproving look sent me into a downward spiral of shame. I felt so guilty for ordering alcohol. After the waitress brought it, I casually tucked the (single serving) bottle of wine (along with my pride) into the chair pocket as if I never had either in the first place. I tried having small talk with Paul and soon realized our short-lived friendship was over.Moving on, we were fed some nasty curried chicken (or beef) in flight. However, I loved the swirled brownies so much I ate two. I loved them but they did not love me back.

About this time I decided that I should probably get up and check out the bathroom. I always enjoy trying to sqeez my fat butt into those jokes that they call a lavatory. I have never understood why the doors fold in, instead of out, unless this is Delta's way of adding that extra hint of humiliation to its passengers. Actually, I think they designed these for the waitress......(oh I mean sterwardesses) for comic relief. I swear they hang out on the back of the plain in herds just to make fun of everybody trying to get in and out of those pieces of shit.

So after an awkward few minutes of trying to relieve myself, I opened the door to finish my walk of shame. About that time, I looked up and noticed some pretty cool people that seemed half sober hanging out. Like a bird-dog on point I can spot alcohol from a mile away. A lightbulb went off in my head as I thought to myself "it's about damn time".This was definately a potential party brewing in the back of the plane and the only thing it was missing was me. A short little lady who calls herself Fabby(short for fabulous) asked if I wanted something to drink. My reply was....."does a rocking horse have a hickory dick?" I love that one. Everyone started cracking up and I knew this was the beginning of a beautiful evening. After being on good behavior for almost 5 hours, joining my new party friends on the back of the plane was like going to my first party in college. I was ready to rebell. I felt like an 18 year old who just moved off to college. Fabby had the hook-up. Whatever I wanted to drink was there and it was FREE. Fabby introduced me to the decoy holding a glass of wine.... Andy. As soon as the magic words (National Geographic) came out of Andy's lips, I knew we would become close friends. Soon, Andy, Fabby and myself were brewing up our own little "party in the sky". After an hour and a few drinks we were all exchanging stories as if we had been friends for years. Andy brought back his laptop and he showed me really cool shoots that they did while in Africa. That crazy asshole even jumped out of a moving boat and swam with great whites without a cage. He has hours of raw footage that he showed us. Andy was on his way to Cape Town to do some diving footage of great whites and then some lion shoots in Tanzania. He had the most amazing videos that he filmed in S.Africa. This was his 8th time coming back. Here is a goofy song that he made (i think he was probably drinking while he made it) http://www.youtube.com/user/Futbolbonita25 He said this is what got his foot in the door to N.G. He has a lot of neat stuff that airs on National Geographic. We attracted several other people that joined our party in the back gally and before long we had a crowd. Our party in the sky was a welcomed surprised and a great into to what I hope Africa will be like.

As much fun as we had, the time flew by and before I knew it, it was time to return to my seat in the buzz-kill section with the nerd herd. I returned back to my seat with a wine mustache and raisen teeth, Paul asked if I had gotten lost for 3 hours. I responded by saying that I was Catholic and I had taken communion 3 days early this week.

P.S. The girls at home threw me a wonderful going away dinner at Trippers.